Reinventing Myself for Greater Living

At a luncheon the other day with a group of minister friends, one said, "and there's Margo reinventing ministry!" I was a little taken, a little embarrassed, as I had just asked another minister who visited my center for feedback on her experience. Six people were there in attendance including us.

I blurted out to the other, "Well, its adapt or die!" If there was ever a time I wanted to take back words, it was then. I knew that wasn't right, and it wasn't the impression I wanted to leave. It wasn't a comment heralding the gospel of greater livingness I teach, yet there it was out there.

Reinventing ministry? Moi? Geez, with six in attendance on Sunday, I was barely making it. We'd moved six times in the past three years. I felt that every change we had made was about surviving the next phase. It was about keeping on keeping on somehow, some way. Never giving up. Trying something else. Trial and error over and over. Feeling mostly error with a few successes thrown in to break up the monotony. Lots and lots of tears had been shed over feelings of failure, and the anxiety of running out of strategies, tactics, books, advice of mentors, and even visioning ideas to try. How do they do it? Those others who have 200, 300 or more showing up?

As the tears ran down my face, I could no longer contain myself. I was encircled by my friends who whispered the most supportive loving things in my ear. "Its never about teaching the program or to how many, it's who you become in the process." "Church is a front for the inner transformational process. If you didn't do ministry, you couldn't transform yourself the way you deeply want it."

"Consciousness of ministry is not measured by the collection plate or in numbers. It is measured in the lives you touch and how they touch others."

One shared a story about a minister who almost lost his church charter because he only had two students enrolled in classes. He persevered knowing he had something of value to offer those who would most benefit from his classes. One of those students went on to be the president of the organization. Thousands were touched during his administration.

Yes, I am reinventing ministry. I have reinvented myself and of course the ministry will by definition have to change. I used to pride myself on my mastery of the material, but did it touch people and help them transform their lives? One of the ways I've changed is to give up "doing church." Instead, I have been focusing on holding the space for transformation to take place. The really important thing is connecting on a heart level with those who can benefit from what we offer and leading a transformational process. It seems to be working out, after one month of being open (this time). To see how it's panning out, you can check out our website at www.thepeacecenter.info. You can keep informed by joining our mailing list or joining the dialogue here. You might just show up and change an old idea for the thrill of it.

It sure is a lot more fun when I look at it this way. I am energized, I am uplifted and I'm eager to meet up with my two students real soon. I have something to share that will touch them deeply. In so doing, I will be most touched of all.